A 27-year-old man finds himself torn between prioritizing his financial future and succumbing to family pressure for an expensive tropical vacation. He took to Reddit’s “Am I the A——” forum seeking advice on whether he’s wrong for declining the trip. Living at home to save for his own place, he admits he could afford the vacation, diligently saving 60% of his earnings. However, the cost would significantly deplete his savings and leave him with almost no paid time off (PTO).
He expressed his love for his family but emphasized his desire for independence and a few years of “bachelor life.” The trip would severely impact his PTO, leaving him with only 1-2 hours remaining. As he recently started his job, he’s trying to build a PTO buffer for emergencies. He worries that depleting his PTO would leave him vulnerable.
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Adding to the complexity, his mother is a colon cancer survivor. The family initially planned the trip before her diagnosis, fearing it might be her last opportunity. However, he believes they are all young enough to travel again in the future and doesn’t see the urgency.
His family argues that they “need a man for protection” and that they rarely see him due to his work schedule. His mother still refers to the trip as her “cancer trip,” which he feels is a manipulative tactic. He believes his mother and sister are using guilt to pressure him into going.
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He posed the question to Reddit: “AITA for backing out of a family vacation because it costs too much and would use all of my PTO?” The response was overwhelmingly supportive, with many assuring him he was not in the wrong. Redditors validated his prioritization of financial goals and PTO, encouraging open communication with his family and suggesting alternative ways to spend time together.
One commenter suggested he express his willingness to go but explain his financial constraints and let his family decide if they want to cover his expenses. However, he clarified that his family’s financial situation wouldn’t allow for that, as they often complain about money themselves. He pointed out the irony of their spending habits despite claiming to be broke. His dilemma highlights the challenges of balancing personal financial responsibility with family obligations and emotional pressures.
