Kaylee Muthart’s story is a chilling reminder of the devastating effects of methamphetamine addiction. In 2018, at the age of 20, Muthart, under the influence of meth, gouged out her own eyes in a drug-induced psychosis. Her journey from a promising student to a victim of addiction and her subsequent path to recovery offers a stark warning about the dangers of substance abuse and a testament to the resilience of the human spirit.
From Straight-A Student to Meth Addiction: A Downward Spiral
Kaylee Muthart was a bright student with a promising future. During her high school years, she maintained a straight-A average, earned a place in the National Honor Society, and enjoyed playing guitar and learning piano. Aware of a family history of addiction, she initially steered clear of harder drugs, limiting her weekend use to marijuana. However, at 19, her life took a dramatic turn when a friend offered her a marijuana joint laced with methamphetamine. The intense high, Muthart recalls, created a false sense of spiritual connection, leading her down a path of escalating drug use. Within a year, she transitioned from smoking meth to injecting it, her life rapidly spiraling out of control.
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Recognizing the severity of her daughter’s addiction, Muthart’s mother persuaded her to enter rehab. It was on the day she was scheduled to begin treatment, after taking a larger than usual dose of meth, that the horrific incident occurred. Muthart, in a psychotic state, believed that sacrificing her eyes was the key to saving the world.
A Moment of Madness: The Day Kaylee Muthart Lost Her Sight
Muthart’s memory of the day she blinded herself remains fragmented. She remembers walking along train tracks towards church when a friend informed her that their shared house was locked. This seemingly insignificant event triggered a delusional belief that her sacrifice was necessary for the world’s salvation. Overwhelmed by the drug-induced psychosis, Muthart knelt down, praying for understanding as the horrifying realization of her perceived mission took hold.
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Numbed by the meth, she used her fingers to gouge out her eyes, describing the experience as an excruciating struggle, the hardest thing she’d ever done. A local pastor discovered her screaming, “I want to see the light.” He later recounted finding Muthart holding her damaged eyes in her hands, still somehow attached. Rushed to the hospital, it took seven people to restrain her. Doctors, fearing infection, performed emergency surgery to remove the remnants of her eyes.
The Long Road to Recovery: Finding Hope After Tragedy
The aftermath of Muthart’s self-inflicted blindness was a long and arduous journey. She faced not only the physical challenges of living without sight but also the emotional and psychological trauma of her addiction and its devastating consequences. Yet, amidst the darkness, Muthart found a strength within herself to rebuild her life.
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She learned to navigate her world anew, adapting to everyday tasks with remarkable resilience. While activities she once loved, like playing musical instruments, became more challenging, she remained optimistic, focusing on the positive aspects of her life. Muthart received prosthetic eyeballs, which helped her feel more comfortable in social situations. She openly shares her story to warn others about the dangers of drug addiction, a stark reminder of the destructive power of meth.
A Message of Hope and Resilience: Kaylee Muthart’s Legacy
Kaylee Muthart’s story is a powerful testament to the destructive potential of meth addiction and the long road to recovery. While her experience is extreme, it highlights the devastating impact that substance abuse can have on individuals, families, and communities. Muthart’s courage in sharing her story serves as a warning and a source of inspiration for others struggling with addiction. Her journey underscores the importance of seeking help for substance abuse and the possibility of finding hope and healing even in the darkest of circumstances.
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Her message is clear: “I’d rather be blind than dependent on drugs.” It’s a message that resonates with the urgency of seeking help and the potential for a brighter future free from the grip of addiction.
If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, please contact the SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) for confidential support and treatment resources.
